Yes, still dwelling on attachments.Today’s reminder came from this little puppy now residing in the kitchen. When I go in and play with it his just a bundle of joy, but as soon as I walk out the door and leave him he starts to cry louder and louder, eventually he stops. This little creature is very happy when someone is around onto who to direct all his love and playfulness, however he becomes sad, and maybe even miserable, when there’s no one around to whom to give his love and from whom to receive love and attention. I find this aspect every interesting, not only on such a small scale as that of this pet, but on the larger scale of human relationships, dependencies and conditioning. I want to discover how and why is this need for direct, physical contact between to individual used to ensure a level of happiness, of fulfilment. However, I don’t know where to start…
One bitter-sweet weekend’s conclusion:
…journey to the inner, journey to the inner, that sounds really nice and pretty, but how are you working on your attachments and dependencies?…
At this stage, and I’m sure that, let’s say, 98,5% of everybody on this planet will agree with me, life is very beautiful, it’s actually unbelievably wonderful when your with your special someone spending time together, loving each other in whatever way you like. But when that special someone is not physically next to you for an extended amount of time life begins to look less and less pretty. I call this happiness depending on somebody else than you. Even shorter: dependency.
Now, how can you really be happy when you depend on somebody else to be happy? Yes, one goes, another one that’s the empty seat, and so on. Or, you find “happiness” in some activity, saying you don’t depend on anyone to be happy. However, there always is some exterior thing that conditions your state of happiness. That is still a dependency.
I’m referring here to “you”, but in fact I’m in the same place, maybe with the slight differences that I’m contemplating the thought of somehow transcending this not so fortunate state.
For the time being I’m contemplating, I don’t really know how to proceed. However, I do have a more or less wise thought: live it to the fullest until you reach “saturation” and thus you transcend that particular need!
- I’m going to climb Aconcagua!
- That’s nice. Good for you!
Google-ing for Aconcagua only to find that it doesn’t look all that attractive. A mix of rock and snow/ice. So the days pass, Aconcagua sinks into the shadows of forget, until one very boring/tiring day. What to do to make the time pass easier? Answer: google Aconcagua. Minutes later the phone is ringing:
- Do you mind if I do some research for your expedition in Aconcagua?
- Are you a mind reader? That would be great!
Reading site after journal, google-ing route after base camp, buses after gear rental fees, taking to all sorts of shop keepers, park officers and climbers, bumping into guide books, pictures and videos.
And the outcome? One big desire for an expedition of my own. Researching, planning, packing, traveling through the mountains, looking forward anxiously to start climbing, climbing, becoming tired, overcoming all obstacles, reaching your goal: the summit, stop, breath, enjoy, and back down full with an overwhelming feeling of achievement, leaving with a heart full of…well full of everything that can’t be put into words. I miss that. But when did I ever do that on such a big scale?
That’s what I want, that feeling that can’t be put into words.
Many people who have come to respect the mountain talk about it as if it were a being with a soul of its own who allows some to climb it, and who punished others for defying it. The mountain teaches many lessons to those who dare to climb it and who are sufficiently aware to “read” its signs.
The other day a run across an interview with a mountaineer who had climbed Makalu, this man had a very interesting motto: “Climbing mountains outside is climbing mountains inside”. This perspective is a real eye-opener and a few days ago I had an encounter with the “mountain”. He was very “friendly” until we were two thirds to its peak, when he decided to hide behind a thick layer of fog. Upon seeing this I thought to myself if we should push on, maybe the mountain was telling us that now is not the moment for that peak. A friend said “The mountain teaches us that sometimes we have to give up and try another day”. Maybe that was the lesson for that day, since we all decided that it’s better to decent rather that climb a peak and be denied the beauty of its view, that being our ultimate purpose for that ascent.
I love the mountain and I’m always mesmorized by its beauty, but I think that our ego shouldn’t get the best of us when climbing. In fact, we should eliminate our ego and be one with the mountain in order to enjoy its beauty to the maximum.
I, I, I and again I. Well that’s it, it’s all about “I”. I was blessed with a fairytale walk in the snow on beautiful sunny day. That’s about it. I didn’t have any revelation, I didn’t find any fundamental questions related to my earthy existence, I only enjoyed a walk in the snow.
If I stop and think about it, there’s always a lesson to learn. For instance, I took a map and I picked a destination for our walk in the snow. As a reference I counted three bridges over the river before the entrance to the gorge we wanted to trek. However, while we were driving everybody was asking me “Are you sure?” and as the third bridge wasn’t showing itself I began to doubt if we would find the gorge. But something told me “Have a little bit of faith!” and I realized that’s my lesson, I have to have more faith in the fact that things will happen eventually, at the right moment. And the third bridge did come up, and soon fallowed the entrance to the gorge we wanted to trek. So, if you wait all will be revealed at the right time.